Bring Me To Life
by Moonlightblack
Summary: Remus is tired of continually grieving for Sirius. So he takes matters into his own hands. Songfic to Evanescence's " Bring Me to Life". Mild Slash. PG for cutting and snogging references


**Summary**: Remus is tired of continually grieving for Sirius. So he takes matters into his own hands. Songfic to Evanescence's " Bring Me to Life". Mild Slash. PG for cutting and snogging references.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Remus. I do own Sirius though. Other than that everything else belongs to my mom. I also don't own the great song that is Evanescence's " Bring me to Life"

**Rating**: PG for angst, cutting, and snog references

**Spoilers**: OOTP and all the books

**Genre**: Angst

**Author Notes**: Lets get this started people ; The Remus plot bunny bit me and set off my inner angst muse. I now have Remus plot bunny angst rabies!!! Stay away!!!! growls But read the fic of course lol

The first verse will be in third person perspective and the rest will be in Remus's POV. This is probably the last Sirius death fic I'll ever do.. After that on to humor!!!! No flames for Slash. I put it on the summary, you should have stayed away. The format here is all messed up with words and the story but that's ok. You get the point

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**Bring Me To Life**

_It seemed to take Sirius an age to fall: his body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch._

_" We can still reach him!"_

_" There's nothing you can do, Harry...nothing...he's gone""_

- Harry Potter and the Order of The Phoenix

* * *

_How can you see, into my eyes like open doors?_

_Leading you down into my core_

_Where I've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold _

_Until you find it there and lead it back home_

__

Remus lay on the small queen-sized bed unmoving. His small, pale, worn-out face looked as still as stone staring at the gray brick walls. Tears dripped down his face and he continued staring at the wall his face not even flinching. His body all of a sudden gave a shuddered heave and a racking sob. Remus then blindly grabbed a nearby pillow to drown out his volume -increasing sobs.

He continued sobbing into his friend's pillow. He didn't realize he was making the pillow wet with his salty tears. He didn't care whether his clothes were shabby and worn as ever. He didn't care whether he couldn't go a single day without crying. He just wanted Sirius. Remus was tired of crying himself countless nights to sleep, lying to Molly when he said he was all right when he wasn't, and having tons of insomnia. He was worn out. His once few gray hairs were taking over half his whole head. He couldn't take this anymore... He needed to be free. Free of the torment that went on inside his head.

Remus took his head out of from under the pillow. He reached for Sirius's bedside table where he pulled out an old picture from fifth year. That had been when they were officially a couple. Both of them had no idea of the treachery and tragedy that would tear them apart in the years to come.

Remus kissed the grinning portrait of Sirius. " I really want to be with you Sirius" he whispered. " So why can't you?" a voice piped up in his head.

A large smile appeared on Remus's face. Why couldn't he be indeed?

_Wake me up inside_

_Wake me up inside_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_Bid my blood to run_

_Before I come undone_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Now that I know what I'm without_

_You can't just leave me_

_Breathe into me and make me real_

_Bring me to life_

__

Remus tiptoed through the silent house. Everyone was snoring and fast asleep. Unaware of the horror they might find in the morning. As he dug into the desk for a quill and parchment, his thoughts instantly rushed towards the time Sirius and him spent the afternoon snogging on the desk. Remus repeatedly bit his lips to prevent the tears from falling. He had vowed the day he hugged Sirius in the Shrieking Shack he would never lose him again. Yet he had. Remus pushed out the small chair and sat down at the writing desk.

_Wake me up_

_Wake me up inside_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_Bid my blood to run_

_Before I come undone_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_Frozen inside without your touch,_

_Without your love_

_Darling only you are the life_

_Among the dead_

__

__

Remus stared again at the parchment sucking the quill. What was he going to tell everyone? Harry? Harry was a graduated Hogwarts student. Harry had to understand. He needed Sirius desperately. His touch, his feel, his deep midnight caresses. Remus had gone on to long without his soul mate. He looked outside the glass-tinted window where the crescent moon was brightly shining. Remus smiled silently to himself. He would never again have to dread the full moon, turning into a full-fledged werewolf. It would be pure bliss.

_All this time I can't believe I couldn't see_

_Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me_

_I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems_

__

__

Dear Order, Harry, and to Who It may Concern

I regret to say by the time you find this letter I will have departed from this earth. I beg you not to spend a moment grieving for me but rejoice in my happiness. For I'll be happy when I'm reunited with my lover and soul mate, Sirius. Sirius, apparently, is and was my life. He made me the happiest person in the world. That was all shattered apart two years ago, and since then I've been living my life like a zombie. I have been depressed for the longest time and I want it to end. Most of my forty years have been filled with poverty, tragedy, death and treachery. The act I have committed has just ended all that. As for my possessions, claim what you want. They have no use. To Harry: I'm sorry I had to leave you this way. I understand I will never be a godfather like Sirius. And even though I have stayed strong enough to guide you to Voldemort's end, I cannot help you anymore. You need a strong and better mentor than me. Look up to everyone around you. You'll be a fine man and have become one already. Remember James, Lily, Sirius and I love you very much. We will watch over you always.

Remus Jonathan Lupin

Setting his pen down, Remus left the writing desk for the linen closet and then the kitchen.

_Got to open my eyes to everything_

_Without a thought without a voice without a soul_

_Don't let me die here_

_There must be something more_

_Bring me to life_

__

Remus picked up a silver-clad knife. He knew the silver would do him severe damage but he didn't care. He ran through the face of the knife with his fingers. It burned through him making it impossible to breathe, but Remus welcomed it. Biting his lips hard and looking away, Remus set the blade over his left arm... and sliced. Feeling a bit sick, he wrapped the towel around his arm.

_Wake me up inside_

_Wake me up inside_

_Call my name and save me from the dark_

_Bid my blood to run_

_Before I come undone_

_Save me from the nothing I've become_

_I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside_

__

Pushing open the tall oak doors, Remus stared at the bed where he and Sirius had spent so many blissful nights together. Also where he had spent hours crying. Landing on his back onto the bed, Remus blindly grasped for the portrait. As he felt his life ebb away, He kissed the portrait Sirius for the last time uttering his last words. " I'll see you soon sweetheart"

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_Fin_


End file.
